Kiss
Puke
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
party gras won. party gras always wins.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We need to feng shui this bitch.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
