my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
