I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
