He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
people are starting to question the shark bite story
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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