My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
