need another drink. this is the easiest way
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
