hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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