That's intense
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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