girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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