so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
