HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
