He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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