ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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