some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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