VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
