she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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