Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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