also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
