Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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