I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
