This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
