According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
