Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
