Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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