I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
