i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
