This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
