i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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