i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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