Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
