you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
