trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just google imaged poop.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
