Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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