You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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