it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
