The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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