He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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