Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Say something about gay babies.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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