You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
