i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
