your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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