i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She's the barista slut.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
