yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
