I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
