I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
