Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
