oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
