Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
