Umm I'm too high to move.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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