More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
there is glitter all over my balls
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